The Young Woman

Dear Fella,

Finally i have courage to tell you a gossip. Uhm, i mean my life-story. Its a about a woman, a friend- sort of. She is too nice, but that makes her a b*itch. Uh, i say bitch, which is very rude according to manner of Indonesian woman. But u know, girl gotta say what girl gotta say, am i right? so if i am the lady in my circumstances (or at least i name my self as a lady) she is the woman, the young woman.

This name is already given for her since i was in high school. So far we are friends -or force to be friends- since highschool, its been 5 years now :O . But we just never get along, i just don't like her more.

She acts like an adult which is  not, since she will just be 19 this year. She thinks like she knows everything, so she doesn't want listen to any body. She thinks that she is pretty and have a great make-up skills. But in fact it just make us sick with her behavior. Oh my God, i cant believe i write this. :O The worst part of her is she has twitter, and in her twitter she become very extrovert person, and if she is in the bad mood she keeps offend the person that she hates, but in real life she is just a little bird that barely speak up. (yay to freedom od speech, but boo for your lack of guts) And even when she speaks, she will put out a very annoying peep. (maybe she was a bird in the long time ago, so now she felt very close to twitter). But wait, another worst part of her is she is act very different when she is in front of boys, or males, or men.(its not that i am jealous- i am very easy going person n can be friends with the boys easily without being cheesy). She is become so spoiled, and doing everything that she could to get an attention (even it sometimes its embarrassing for others). Uh, i will not stop here, there is another reason for me to hate her, she took, takes, almost takes, and maybe will take my friends' boyfriend. And what is her excuse? Can u guess? She said: " I dont know, that they are still dating." Damn right? another thing from her is she is bossy-my friends say that. She never acts bossy in front of me, since i - u know, maybe, slightly better than her in almost everything-.

Oh sorry, fella, i write my rage a lot in the paragraph before. :D . but i feel relieve. ;) Its just me n her will never ever be a friend. A real friend. I know i cant hate someone that much ( I am not really hate her, though) because u know u never know that someone u hate will help u someday. Think about karma.

By the way, from her i learn more to be a decent lady -at least decent for my self-. I learn that, she does anything to look better for others, not for herself. She has not found her comfort zone, she is in the middle of confusing mind of hers. She is young, bu she is stubborn. And she has a very low communication skills. Ah, enough for describing her this time. I will give u more drama later.

Everybody makes mistake, and everybody deserve to be loved but also to be hated. Include me and her. Am i right?

Sincerely,


After-Shower Azmi

Speak Out Loud

Dear Fella,

If you are reading this post now, i want to say thank you. I have no idea how come you end up here. Because this is my blog that i (try to) not publish it anywhere. This is my gate away from life. This is the other side of me that i try to blow-up.

Its 10pm, despite all my deadline, i am here having a new blog, typing with my messy red-black nail polish on my finger. It feels like there is a bug flying inside my head and make me do this unnecessary stuffs. There are four reasons why i shouldn't have a new blog:

1. 70% of my self pretty sure that i wont write any post after this post for next 3 months

2. i intend to write in English, but my English writing skills is suck

3. i have no idea what this blog all about

4. i just want to write gossip here, which doesnt have many benefit for some people

But you know what, i keep doing it anyway. Because, i am drowning now. Drunk and confused in between my life, my dream, and my secrets. I am perplexed in the middle of rage, melancholy, hypochondriac mood in my period pain. I want to be my own savior, rescue my heart to become drought. Find my self, my true self. It just feel like, if i am writing i will be able to be my self.

I have wordpress blog now, i also have tumblr, and ofcourse i have facebook, twitter and soundcloud. But, i still feel empty, i cant be my self at that time, because i am too worry, if someone that i know read what i wrote. They will judge me, they will feel uncomfortable for me, they will accuse me, they will ask me. Uh too much reason to be free right?

And i am here, not being completely anonymous, but i am pretty sure that no friend of mine will know this blog. If they knew i will just dont care, though because i dont write for them. This blog will be so me, this blog will be just me. I will translate my heart and my brain, without any second tought. I just want to speak, speak out loud, freely.

Sincerely,

Messed-Up Azmi

^^