If you are reading this post now, i want to say thank you. I have no idea how come you end up here. Because this is my blog that i (try to) not publish it anywhere. This is my gate away from life. This is the other side of me that i try to blow-up.
Its 10pm, despite all my deadline, i am here having a new blog, typing with my messy red-black nail polish on my finger. It feels like there is a bug flying inside my head and make me do this unnecessary stuffs. There are four reasons why i shouldn't have a new blog:
1. 70% of my self pretty sure that i wont write any post after this post for next 3 months
2. i intend to write in English, but my English writing skills is suck
3. i have no idea what this blog all about
4. i just want to write gossip here, which doesnt have many benefit for some people
But you know what, i keep doing it anyway. Because, i am drowning now. Drunk and confused in between my life, my dream, and my secrets. I am perplexed in the middle of rage, melancholy, hypochondriac mood in my period pain. I want to be my own savior, rescue my heart to become drought. Find my self, my true self. It just feel like, if i am writing i will be able to be my self.
I have wordpress blog now, i also have tumblr, and ofcourse i have facebook, twitter and soundcloud. But, i still feel empty, i cant be my self at that time, because i am too worry, if someone that i know read what i wrote. They will judge me, they will feel uncomfortable for me, they will accuse me, they will ask me. Uh too much reason to be free right?
And i am here, not being completely anonymous, but i am pretty sure that no friend of mine will know this blog. If they knew i will just dont care, though because i dont write for them. This blog will be so me, this blog will be just me. I will translate my heart and my brain, without any second tought. I just want to speak, speak out loud, freely.
Sincerely,
Messed-Up Azmi
^^
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